Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How's work?
Spinning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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