OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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