why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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