Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
