Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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