my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
