i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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