We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
