I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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