it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
so much tequila, so little girl.
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