but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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