Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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