Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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