Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
