No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
