I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
