So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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