just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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