chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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