Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
