At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
