so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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