xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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