Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
