porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
