Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
COCAINE IS GR8
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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