I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
