u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
