I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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