Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize