bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
