Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
