i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
be right there i have to get my cape
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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