Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
