I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Please don't give away my fajitas
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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