This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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