he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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