Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
