We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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