Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
