can we get nightvision for the apartment?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I deserve this hangover.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
