Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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