I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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