Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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