wakey wakey hands off snakey
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
