i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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