So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
