I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I need to calm my uterus...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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