We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
