look no pants
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Come share oat with me in your robe
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
