i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize