You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
