id be glad to
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize