Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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