Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
