Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
