the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
