the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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