Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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