I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
