i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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