His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
