And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize